Gone
by Faraway Dawn
Summary: Sasuke has finally achieved his goal and ended his brother's life, but it's not what he expected. Oneshot Sasuke's POV. Please R


**Gone**

By: Faraway Dawn

Rated: T

POV: Sasuke

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto if I did fan girls would never lay eyes on Itachi again, he would be mine, luckily for them I don't own Naruto…

AN: You know it's actually kind of tough to kill your favorite character…but it puts a few things into perspective so I had to do it. Sasuke has finally achieved his goal and killed Itachi…but anyone who knows me knows that it's not that simple. Anyway please read, review, and enjoy…oh and try to be nice. This is my first Naruto fanfic.

It wasn't how I expected it to be. I expected that killing him would bring some peace, that it would make me feel complete. My family was avenged, their murderer finally slain by my hand as he wished it, so why…why do I feel worse?

Watching my bother's last breath escape him, was the moment I had been living for, or so I thought. Seeing him finally defeated, him finally seeing me as his judgment, and as his equal, it should have been a moment of victory and relief. I should have felt better besting him at last, proving myself worthy to face him, and showing him I wasn't a mere pawn he could move around and sacrifice at his whim.

Seeing his blood made my own run cold. Watching him struggle to breathe made my own chest ache. Seeing his eyes glaze over the way eyes do when death begins to claim a person caused my own eyes to sting in a way they hadn't in years. Seeing him grin in a content way when he breathed his last breath crushed my soul.

My brother, the person I had loved the most in my youth, the person I wanted to be like as a child, the one I was closer to than anyone, even my own parents, was gone.

But this was what I wanted wasn't it!? I wanted him to die. I wanted my revenge, my family cried out in my mind for vengeance and I had delivered it. This was what I wanted…I wanted to see him die like this…didn't I?

What was it that had my eyes stinging the way they were?! Why were there tears falling down my cheeks? Why did I want to scream? What was it that made me want to hold my brother as he died!? I hated him didn't I? I shouldn't be crying over him, I shouldn't have wanted to be a source of comfort as he died, I shouldn't be in pain.

The man before me had been evil to the core. He murdered everyone he should have held dear, he tortured me his own brother, he drove me into a suppressed state of madness and despair, and he told me to kill him '…If you wish to kill me, hate me, detest me…' those were his words. I did as he said, I grew stronger, and I hated him, I detested him, and I let my hatred of him and his actions seep into my very soul. All I wanted was to see him die alone the way everyone else had, murdered by one of their own. I wanted the hate in my eyes to be the last thing he saw as he departed the world.

I could still hear his voice echoing in my head as he lay there dying. 'After all this…going soft are you?' Damn him! Damn him to hell! He saw the tears I would not let fall. Nothing seemed to escape him. I yelled at him then, I told him I would never go soft on him, I wasn't a foolish little boy anymore, I had no need for him in the world.

I should have been happy when he said that he no longer had a reason to remain. I should have been full of pride when he said I had restored honor to our family name, I should have been glad to see the pain etched in his features.

But I could hear it, in the back of my mind a young voice was screaming. A voice begging me to do what I could to save him, I ignored it though; it was a stupid childish wish for a brother that was never real. I wouldn't allow my weakness to spare the life of the one who had stolen the lives of so many. It kept screaming at me, telling me I was just like him now. No mercy, no compassion, just another Itachi.

Rage filled me. I was nothing like him! He deserved what he was getting now. But that voice kept telling me I wouldn't be crying now if I believed that. I wouldn't be fighting the urge to scream for him to come back. I wouldn't feel as empty and alone as I did now, if I truly wished his death.

I fell to the ground beside my brother. The stillness of his body was unnatural even though death was as natural as life was. I remembered a time when he told me that we would continue to exist together, even if I hated him. How long had he been wishing for this and what made him want it so much?

I found myself face to face with a sudden horrifying realization. I had, with my own hands, murdered the only family I had left. He had killed everyone else, even our parents, and I had indeed become just like him, slaying one of the last remnants of my family. I was truly alone now.

That was it. I felt the scream I had been fighting back burst free, what tears I had spent an eternity holding back I shed, what sanity I had left, I swore at that moment I lost. What purpose did I serve now? I had turned my back on my friends and home, all in the name of claiming my brother's life. He was my motivation for living, surviving, and becoming unstoppable.

Now he was gone…gone…gone…the word wouldn't sink in.

Gone…gone…gone…it didn't feel real.

Gone…gone…gone…all that was left of the Uchiha clan was I, and as far as I was concerned, I was a disgrace.

I had abandoned home and friends, I had destroyed my own blood, I let myself be manipulated, and I was weak for choosing the path I had. If I did not owe it to my family to avenge their deaths, would I have done it? Would I have set myself on the course of bloodshed? Would I have killed him? I found myself staring at my brother's face. Why did he have to look so content?

"Brother…" I felt my voice choke out. It was frightening how painful it was to say the word knowing he wouldn't answer this time. I picked up the forehead protector that had fallen free when he fell to the ground. I let my fingers slowly trace the leaf symbol, then the gash across it. The man who had worn it was gone, my brother was gone and it was the only thing of significance I could keep with me.

I could remember all the times he smiled in the past, he said it was all an act, that he was simply playing the role of the brother I wanted…to test my capacity. Seeing how content he looked now I couldn't believe that. The few times he smiled, all the times he had told me not to push myself too hard, all the times he forced father to pay attention to me, all the times he laughed, I just couldn't believe that person was a lie. For so long I forced myself to accept that it had to be, but now, now with him dead before me, I couldn't accept it any longer.

I knew then that I still had it, a reason to live. I had to know for myself what drove him to the lengths he went to. What pushed him down his path and drove me to my own. Even if it seemed meaningless to the world around me, even if it was only to keep my brother alive in my heart and soul (what remained of them anyway) a bit longer.


End file.
